This month, I made a tasbeeh* of broken
anklets and decorated the walls of my room
with coral-colored letters that you never wrote
(but I assumed you have sent them to me). I danced
on the sighs of mermaids and shattered their
standards of beauty.
The book I bought took me to a psychopath’s
apartment. We discussed smell of rain, electric chairs
and his favorite flower over a cup of coffee (I found
The blade of your absence deepened my wounds
but no blood flowed out. I have donated every bit
of my body to schizophrenia now. Each cell is a new person
breathing in the grey clouds, scratching on my sanity.
(Hope they bury me with my dreams and the audios of our
past, else it would be boring there under so much soil.)
*tasbeeh: rosary (Urdu)
Kainat Azhar is a Pakistani writer and illustrator hiding behind the mask of a computer science major. She tweets at twitter.com/Kainat_Azhar.