Harriet the Third Boob
Harriet is the name of the author's third boob and could or could not be considered a medical problem. She's certainly terminal. She’s also obnoxious, but still manages to offer comfort in moments of rectum-clenching anxiety. Harriet’s quick with a joke or a blow-job and is the only organ Torey knows that can combine the two concepts seamlessly. She’s Torey's accomplice, but she’s not her common sense. She’s not her mother. Whether or not Harriet is the author's therapist remains unclear. Illustrating Harriet would kill her, probably.
Torey Akers is an east-coast gin enthusiast currently wrapping up her painting MFA somewhere needlessly far from the ocean. More grown men have caught her eating ham out of a bag than she is comfortable reporting. Her mom is way, way funnier than she is. Akers has had criticism of various kinds published in a few dark corners of the internet and shown art in similarly dark corners of basements and bathroom foyers across New England.