you named a playlist
for times when you feel a combination
of happiness and extreme confusion.
in your room
listening to Lana Del Rey sing
“dark and lonely i need somebody to hold me”
i start to feel light-headed.
i go into the kitchen
for hummus and celery.
it is because
and often on Tuesdays
i feel like
a goth teenager
standing outside of a high school
vaping in a rainstorm.
walking back to my apartment at 3 in the morning
listening to the first Culture Club album.
holding my hand in front of my face.
i feel like i am becoming a spirit
i am seeing only flat colors,
filling my eyeballs with chlorinated water.
i am remembering things out of order:
almost crying at Steak N Shake.
being fifteen years old.
wanting to be possessed by a demon.
being close to dying from a toothbrush.
someone threw a piece of salt in my eye once.
being close to dying from a piece of hard cheese.
your new way to cure my hangovers
is to hit me repeatedly on the head
with my grandmother’s 1952 edition
of Anna Karenina
while shouting “audiobooks!”
i enjoy spending time with you
and i want you to express yourself
but so far
it is not working well.
i want everything to turn to dust.
i want to eat all the dust
and puke it up in my favorite restaurant
so i will have to avoid that place
for like 5 or 6 months
until enough employees are fired
and nobody remembers.
it will happen suddenly
when i am in bed
watching a video of Athonite monks
“have mercy on me”
i will realize it and say,
“now is the perfect time.”
Greg Zorko lives in Madison, Wisconsin. Some of his work has appeared in Hobart, Wu Wei Fashion Mag and Moloko House. You can follow him on Twitter @Zorknogg and on Tumblr at zorknogg.tumblr.com.